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Many blogs on kink showcase the Dominant’s point of view. Submissives are not often vocal about what they want and wish for. Do we want to change that for a brief moment? Submission is healing, submission is empowering. It is important to vocalize this fundamental drive to submission. There needs to be more articulate ‘subbing’ in the kink community and we have found a beautiful Sub voice that expresses that. 

A Submissive Wishlist

I wanted to write to you about impact play. Although my experience is very limited, most of the things that I come across on the subject are written from the Doms pov. As a recipient,  I would have wanted to know or experience certain specific things to make it more  pleasurable for me and my partner. 

This is really my wish list. My best case scenario.

  1. I want to know exactly what to expect. I want to know this 24 hours in advance. I want it to make me wet. I want it to mindfuck me. I want to not be able to sleep knowing what’s going to happen. I want to be a bundle of nerves. I want my vulnerability amplified.  
  2. When you tell me about the act, I want to become familiar with the implement. I want to touch it, to caress it, to possibly sleep with it knowing that it is what is going to make me scream.
  3. I want to know about the marks that you will make and where you will make them. I want to know how they will possibly look and I want to know how you will take care of me after. I want to see that you are prepared with everything that you will need to care for me. It shows me that you care. 
  4. I want you to talk to me about the sensations, the heat. I want you to describe the bite of the chosen implement. I want you to swat me on my palm so I know what to expect.  I want you to force me to touch my pussy mid act, just when I’m beginning to whimper so that I know how wet it is making me.
  5. I want you to help me discover my relationship with pain. I want you to hurt different parts of my body. I want to know where and how it hurts. I want to learn about all my vulnerabilities with you. 
  6. I want to discover intensity- how bad it hurts.  I want you to be mindful of how I feel.  I want you to hold me at a certain pain intensity and then push me over. I want this to be a journey that we make together. 
  7. You shouldn’t have to hold me down. I want to be there at my will, in pain and there because it is what I want from you. Because you need this from me. Because I submit to you.
  8. When I ask you to stop I need you to respect it. It exemplifies how I trust you and how I feel safe with you. 
  9. I want to discover different implements and different materials with you. I want to do this in different settings. I want to be excited knowing the things that you will do to me.
When we play online:
  1. I need you to help me choose the correct implement from what I have available. I need you to tell me details about everything that I have available – how much it will hurt, how much it will bruise. 
  2. I need you to tell me that impact play is usually a noisy activity so that I can plan for this in a safe and conducive environment. 
  3. I also need to know that it will tire my arms out in addition to the pain that it causes. This prepares me for what to expect.
  4. Bruising is different in different people. When I’m playing with myself you need to tell me what to watch out for. It’s usually a good idea to tell me to stop when I start crying.  
  5. Tell me clearly about the bits that bruise easily and deeply – like my breasts. I don’t want to get into trouble at home.
  6. Somethings like slotted steel, or the belt buckle, a stick or a cane will cause cuts. Tell me how to properly tend to these. Tell me about the self care supplies I need to have at hand before I try these things.


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