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Over all these years of working as intimacy and dating coaches, we’ve read a lot of books on kink and BDSM. And as World Book Day just passed us by, we thought we’d make a quick essential reading list for anyone who’s interested in the world of kink.

Whether you’re a beginner or an expert, these books are some of the most ground-breaking publications in the field of BDSM and kink. If you’ve read these already, let us know what you think!

TIC’s Essential List of Books on Kink

  • “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction” by Jay Wiseman

This book is a comprehensive guide to BDSM practices, emphasizing the importance of safety, communication, and consent. The author covers a wide range of topics, from bondage and impact play to psychological aspects of BDSM and negotiating a BDSM relationship. The book also provides practical advice on how to explore BDSM in a safe and consensual way, including tips on finding partners, establishing boundaries, and communicating effectively.

The author draws on his own experiences as a BDSM practitioner and educator, making the book both informative and engaging.

  • “Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism” by Philip Miller and Molly Devon

This book is widely regarded as a classic in the BDSM community and has been in print for over 20 years. The authors offer an extensive overview of BDSM practices, ranging from the basics to advanced techniques, while emphasizing the importance of safety, consent, and communication. The book covers various aspects of BDSM, including bondage, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism, and role-playing.

The authors provide a wealth of information on the psychological, emotional, and physical aspects of BDSM, and they offer tips on how to explore these practices in a safe and consensual way. The book is also filled with anecdotes and personal experiences, making it an engaging and informative read for anyone interested in BDSM.

  • “The New Topping Book” and “The New Bottoming Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

These two books are often recommended together, as they provide a comprehensive guide to both the dominant and submissive aspects of BDSM. “The New Topping Book” focuses on the art of topping, or taking the dominant role in a BDSM dynamic, while “The New Bottoming Book” focuses on the art of bottoming, or taking the submissive role. Both books emphasize the importance of communication, negotiation, and consent in BDSM relationships, and they provide practical advice on how to explore these roles in a safe and consensual way. The books also cover a wide range of BDSM practices, from bondage and impact play to role-playing and power exchange.

The authors draw on their own experiences as well as the experiences of others in the BDSM community, making these books a valuable resource for anyone interested in exploring the dominant or submissive aspects of BDSM.

  • “The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge” by Tristan Taormino

This book is a comprehensive guide to various aspects of kink and BDSM practices written by Tristan Taormino, a well-known sex educator and author in the field of sexuality. The book covers a wide range of topics, including bondage, domination and submission, sadomasochism, fetishism, role-playing, and other forms of erotic play.

One of the strengths of this book is Taormino’s inclusive approach to kink and BDSM. The book covers a broad range of practices and perspectives, including different gender identities, sexual orientations, and relationship structures. Throughout the book, Taormino emphasizes the importance of communication, consent, and safety, and provides practical advice on how to negotiate boundaries and establish trust with partners.

“The Ultimate Guide to Kink” is an excellent resource for anyone interested in exploring kink and BDSM, whether you’re a complete beginner or an experienced practitioner. Taormino’s writing is clear and engaging, and she provides a wealth of information and practical advice in an accessible and non-judgmental way. The book is also filled with personal stories and anecdotes from real-life kink practitioners, making it an engaging and informative read. Overall, this book is a valuable addition to any library on sexuality and kink.

  • “The Diary of a Submissive” by Sophie Morgan

“The Diary of a Submissive” is a memoir written by Sophia Morgan, a pseudonym for an anonymous author, which explores her experiences as a submissive in BDSM relationships. The book provides a personal and intimate glimpse into the world of BDSM, revealing the author’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences as she navigates the complex dynamics of BDSM relationships.

The book begins with Morgan’s early experiences exploring BDSM as a young woman, and details her evolution as she explores her submissive desires and engages in increasingly intense BDSM relationships. She discusses her encounters with a variety of dominants, both in person and online, and explores the ways in which BDSM can be used to explore power dynamics, control, and trust.

Throughout the book, the author emphasizes the importance of communication, trust, and mutual respect in BDSM relationships, and provides valuable insights into the emotional complexities of BDSM practices. She also explores the intersection of BDSM and other aspects of her life, such as her career and family relationships.

The book has been praised for its sensitive and honest portrayal of BDSM practices, and for its engaging and well-written narrative. It is a must-read for anyone interested in exploring BDSM relationships, or for those who are simply curious about this often-misunderstood practice.

Reading books on BDSM is important because it can offer education on safety practices, negotiation, and consent, while providing representation for a community often stigmatized and misunderstood in popular culture. These books can also help readers develop empathy and understanding for those who engage in BDSM practices, as well as facilitate self-discovery for those who are curious but unsure if it’s something they want to explore. 

Reading books on kink is easy, but incorporating these lessons into the bedroom can be a challenge. Why not reach out to our intimacy coaches at The Intimacy Curator to guide you?

Writer Gayathri RN

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