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Figuring out that you’re bisexual can be a tough journey, especially in India, where sexuality is something we whisper about behind closed doors. But imagine having to bust the myths & stereotypes about bisexual people, every time you enter the dating pool? So, here we go. 

Welcome to the list of things I wish people knew about bisexuality.

1. Many of us. Don’t. Want. A. Threesome.

Not with your girlfriend. Not with your best friend. Not with anybody else. It’s like expecting to mix mutton biryani & ice cream. Some of us like both, just not together. 

2. Sex with a person of the same gender is just as “real” as straight sex, penetration or not

The definition of sex differs from person to person. You really shouldn’t put your… nose into everything, nor a penis, nor a vibrator. It’s not as important as you think it is. 

3. Bisexual people aren’t cheaters nor hornier than everybody else 

Just because we have more options, doesn’t mean we walk around seeing who we can sleep with next. Cheating depends very much on the person, not their sexuality. Being horny depends on their libido and not their sexual preferences. Low libido is cool but  infidelity is not. Bisexual people aren’t inherently into cheating. It’s a complex issue, and from my experience, infidelity is something that needs to be discussed between partners, preferably through relationship counselling.

4. We aren’t “secretly gay” or “secretly straight”.

If I’m in a heterosexual relationship, I haven’t stopped being queer. I’m not “experimenting” when I’m in a homosexual relationship. I’m still gay. I’m as fruity as it gets. Dating has always been a matter of who I get along with, rather than their gender.

5. We are nor sex fiends

I don’t do this just to get laid. I experience romantic & sexual attraction to both genders, while other bisexuals may not. Preferences change, so stop picturing 90s Bollywood serial vamps when you think of bisexual women.

6. I can be friends with people. Everyone is not on my ‘Hit On’ list.

Bisexual people are perfectly capable of being able to have platonic relationships, just like straight people can have friends of the opposite gender. When you guys assume that we’re hitting on you, you’re taking a little too much credit.

7. Bisexual people can have preferences for any specific gender, and that does not stop them from being gay. 

Sometimes, I prefer men over women or vice-versa. So, when you see me or anyone preferring one gender over the other, we haven’t picked “sides”. We’re still a part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

8. We aren’t confused about ourselves.

The only thing that’s confusing is why everyone seems to think it’s a phase. Sexuality is just as fluid as gender, so let people be?

Writer Gayathri RN

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